Things I Learned Not Sleeping

--Alfonso Dawson makes his children sell gravesites.

God’s truth. I stumbled across a commercial in which three children stood smiling in front of a mortuary.

The littlest one, a girl, maybe four, said, We’ll match any casket price.

I wanted to think I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit. I wasn’t.

--Saturday Night Live hasn’t dealt in that kind of irony for a decade.

--Brian Griese, as skilled as he is, is not a winner. I knew that before, but I thought something had changed.

--I’m a sexist. A film started. I didn’t recognize it. There was Shelly Long. Fair enough. Then I saw the writing credit. Susan somebody. I changed the channel.

As for Ms Coppalo: KH convinced me to watch the Virgin Suicides again and I found something of value in it. Whatever art she is creating, I swear it is by accident. She’s nearly naked, but she knows if she remains still enough, we’ll credit her with new clothes. She knows that sometimes silence is mistaken for depth and that to be muted is often to be considered wise. Really, she’s a minimalist. There’s nothing easier than that.

In any case, I'm glad she was cast in the Godfather Three – she really brought something to the film.

--Thank God for Kathryn Bigelow.